Status

I write this post armed with a big bowl of ice cream and the Hustle & Flow soundtrack blaring:
As expected (though hope plays funny games with your mind), the 'B' sample of my urine has come back confirming the presence of an exogenous anabolic in my system from the Aug. 29, 2009 test. I expect USADA to come back with a 2 year sanction any day now but I'm tired of waiting for them so I decided to let everyone know what's going on. There will probably be a hearing in a few months whereas I will proclaim my innocence. We all know the drill! How many times have we been through this with this sport? I even secured one of those lawyer fellas to help me through this. We are still attempting to figure out how this happened and I'm optimistic that we'll have an answer in time for the hearing.
I'm sorry that this is more negative press for the sport of cycling, but that is the least of my worries right now. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to share encouraging and supportive words to me. "Keep hustlin'. it ain't over for me. no, it ain't over for me. keep flowin'. i'm gonna step my game up and get what's comin' to me." I love it - that's what playing on the iTunes right now. I guess I should come back from this?
Remember to keep perspective.

drug of choice?

I did a phone interview with Lyne Lamoureux yesterday for her website podiuminsight.com and I wanted to share an exchange we had that I kept laughing about the rest of the day but I was assured wouldn't make the article.
This came after the recorded interview:
Lyne: so how are you doing? Are you taking care of yourself?
me: Yeah, mentally I'm doing pretty well. I'm doing what I need to do to get through this. But physically....sheesh, it's getting pretty bad. I think Jan Ulrich and I have a lot in common.
Lyne: Woah, careful there. That could be taken the wrong way. (laughs)
me: Ha! No, you know I mean...
Lyne: Yes, you mean you both like your donuts and schnitzel, right?
me: Yeah, I think Jan and I both like the schnitzel. (Pause) Whoa. Crap, that could be taken the wrong way too! You stopped recording right?

mi bicicleta or mi muerte

I have a t-shirt that says this on it. It has a picture of a phat cruiser bike with long handlebars ("Easy Rider" style) that is popular in some Mexican cultures. I'd have to say that in light of my current situation - I'm bluffing. I love the sport of cycling and more specifically I love racing my bike. But if that is taken away from me, I'm not going to give up on life or play the victim. Life is too full of OTHER cool and exciting things that I can dive into head first. It's also far too short to dwell in the past and be miserable. Typing these words is much easier than putting their message into practice but I'm confident that if it comes to that, I can do it...with the continued support of my kick ass network of friends and family.
On a lighter note, I also have a t-shirt that says "cycling is dope" which I still think is a great shirt. So great, in fact, that I wore it to the opening and testing of the 'B' sample in Utah. Bad form? I thought it was funny, and I'm in need of laughs these days.
Thank you to all of you who have shown your support through emails, calls, texts, and comments on this blog. It means the world to me. And to those of you who think I'm a lying cheat, I can't say that I blame you really. It was always my first reaction to news of another positive test. But hopefully we can find and prove the truth in the coming days, weeks, months. Oh, and there was a comment deleted on my last post after the press release that I can only assume was really nasty with f-bombs and such because I never even got a chance to read it - it must have been flagged and deleted by the server. Thanks blogger.com!
Happy New Year everyone.